You are welcome. Come in and close the door behind you. I don’t like people peeping in through my door. Take it easy with the door...don't slam it, please...
OK. Have a seat or do you prefer to stand? Alright…it’s your choice, anyway.
Lemme see…I guess you are here because you want to be entertained, right? Like I stated earlier in my mission statement, you won’t be disappointed as I am always ready to bake more and more yarns for you.
Here, it's just yarns and I am the editor of this magazine and your amusement is my concern. That’s my job definition.
I am going to use my weird sense of humor plus my intense power of imagination mixed with sarcasm to either make you laugh, grin, chuckle, glee, smile, smirk, wonder, forget your sorrows, confused, think and rethink, say yay, frown and curse, and even…boil!
Yessss...boil as in 100° Cee!
And if I ever succeed in doing all that all at once, you know what…? I won’t lie to you, I’ll be so glad.
But that’s not all because if you do stick around for some more time, then you might never know when you will be adding ‘go crazy’ to that list of all these nice things I want to do to you here.
Grrhhh! ***Evil Grin***
Don’t get me wrong; if only you will check out my about me page, you will see that I am just being ME and all I have said so far might actually be the truth.
I’ll be telling you a lot of different stories and I will be saying a whole lot of crazy stuffs because that’s what I do best. My plan is to generate an addictive circulating eddy current of fun with all those stories. Oh, now I get it. You thought eddy currents is only limited to Physics, huh?
You were dead wrong, boy.
Anyway, take a look at how I have mapped it all out.
Once you leave this room, you can either go to:―
LWKMD (Laugh Wan Kill Me Die):That is another way of saying lol in Naija which is also another way of saying Nigeria in Naija. Confusing? Never mind. Here, I will be filling you in with find some of the best [Nigerian] jokes I've ever heard that can always make you say lo-lo-lol....!
Sweet Confessions: I was once an unofficial priest, you know...? I know it is against our oath and ethics to reveal what our confessors tell us during confessions but I just can’t help it. I hope it’s going to be a secret between you and me. No one should know I am doing you this favor, okay? Good. Now follow me, let’s take a moment to listen in on some real dirty things men [and women] do…I know you will like it!
Moral Lessons: OK. Imagine me teaching you morals. Don’t make me laugh, please…
Bible gaffs: Yeah, I felt like it will be a good idea for me to entertain you with some of the Bible stories which incidentally can only be found in my own Bible. Wow! Isn't that great! One thing I know, even though you don’t necessarily have to believe me because it’s all yarns, surely you will still have one or two reasons to laugh…
What Will U Do?: These are some the posers that you should answer but you won’t be penalized if you don’t get the answer correct because there are no right answers. Remember, you don’t even have to answer them, most especially if you suspect answering them might make you crazy.
Drama Series: I love drama a lot and I am going to be showcasing some of the screenplays I have written for my own reading pleasure. Who knows, you might also like them too? Remember, I trust you will respect my copyright okay?
Smart Alex: I have a very good buddy called Alex. If you join me here, you will soon find out why we are still buddies.
AddVice Me: Yeah, you came here because you've heard I give free advice, mostly relationship advice, huh? Hmm...be careful because I might end up adding to your vice!
Didi – the mischievous S.O.B: Meet Didi. He’s young but he is going to prove to you that age is not just a number.
10 Reasons Why: So many people are ready to tell you 10 reasons why you should do some things. I am going to do the opposite here. Join me here to see what I am talking about. Mind you, I get my kicks here from saying crazy things most people won't ordinarily like to or want to say...
Memorable Interviews: Oh, I love doin' this! Here, I take my pleasure of interviewing anybody I feel like in the world. I interview all sorts of persons. It doesn't matter where you live in the world. I can easily reach you and get some interview from you whenever I like as long as I like talking to myself. So you can come and watch me to do.
The World Wild Web: It's going to be like a peep show as you'll get to see some of the various awkward, funny, crazy, mind boggling, really wonderful,things I do come across that really caught my attention as I browse the web. You'll see they're really really awesom...!
Prove You Wrong: Here, I am simply going to be catching my usual fun by taking some of the simplest arguments you can have and spinning them around just to confuse you the more and make you wonder...
And so much more...
Whichever chat room you chose to go to immediately you leave this very room, you will surely find out that I've got it covered. And remember, if you find anything particularly interesting, please don't fail to tell your friends, okay...?
Oh by the way, just in case you are still wondering, to misyarn in Nigerian lingo simply means to talk rubbish. It is not my fault that nine out of ten times I open my mouth to say something, I end up saying something so stupid or sounds very crazy. As if that's not terrible enough, I am also a talkative.
Can't you see it? Since you came in, I've been the one talking. I talk to myself. I talk to the walls. I talk to my laptop and TV. I talk to dogs. I know you get the idea so let me just stop yakking now.
In fact, I think you should go now. Yes, go! Go and check out what I already have in place for you now.
Hey, come back here, close the door after you. Thought I told you I don’t like peepers? And don't bang the doo—
Next person, please!