10 Reasons Why You Should Not Marry Or Date A Wailer

Wailers! Wailers are everywhere. Wailers can be males, wailers can be females but if at any point you ever find or start thinking this exceptionally long article is portraying wailers as females, please don’t be annoyed.  I presume you already know wailing is a typical female behaviour, right?


So, who is a wailer? Well, a wailer is simply someone who wails. Like this troubled young man here:

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Eyaa... bros, sorry o!
Ha ha ha!

Anyway, I also presume you might have other ideas on what or who a wailer is so that means I won’t waste your time trying to come up with a precise definition for you.

Besides, that’s not why we are here.

I want us to talk about relationships. Specifically, let’s talk about the people I call wailers in relationship. Once again, you will notice that I will be using he and she interchangeably when referring to wailers. That’s because like I have already stated, wailers comes in both sexes.

So let’s get started.

Are you currently in a relationship? Do you really know this person you’re with...? I mean, do you really  know this person very well...? As in, do you really really know whether this person is a wailer? Or not?

Seriously, you need to do this before you get in too deep because truth be told, dating a wailer might not be the best option for you.


Alright, let’s find out why now.

You see, the thing with wailers is that wailers...

Can’t be satisfied
Don’t even try it because you will never succeed. Because wailers can never be satisfied, you find out they are always nagging. There’s always something for wailers to nag and complain about.

Do something; they cry. Do nothing; they cry. Ask her for her opinion on what should be done, she has none. But should things not go according to plans, be sure that he’ll always be there to tell you, “I told you so” in the most sardonic manner that is almost guaranteed to bring your wearied spirit down.

And that’s because a wailer is also very good in blaming as well as finding faults in their partners...

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But son, you should have known that never please them all...
Like a spoilt child, a wailer will always remain unsatisfied, unfulfilled no matter what you do to satisfy her. Being a total killjoy too, he will always find a way to discredit you or misrepresent your good deeds or intention. Even when you come with the best of intentions, just prepare to meet the most cynical remarks from your wailer partner.

One of the most effective ways of coping with a wailer’s insatiability is by maintaining your silence no matter what he says.

But then again, for how long can you cope? In fact, are you in the relationship to cope?

Have a very big problem moving on
This trait is very common with all wailers. You know that type of partner that keeps on bringing up things that happened in his or her previous relationship/s? That’s a wailer for you.

You know Chris, my ex Dave fὐcked me better. But you know that’s how John used to do it for me.  Okey used to buy me this, buy me that! Hey Josephine, maybe I should invite my former girlfriend to teach you how to prepare this soup!


With a wailer, you always get the impression that you are living, no, actually, you are trapped in their past which she will always find a way to make you believe was somewhat better than the present with her constant and often very thoughtless and unreasonable comparisons that will only end up driving you nuts.

Not only that. Another very terrible dimension to a wailer’s inability to let bygones be bygones—most especially if the previous relationship didn’t turn out so well—is that she may also be prone to be seriously and constantly badmouthing her ex in your presence leaving you with that terrible sinking feeling of what she might say about you should that day come and—God help you—it so happens you have also made it to the league of her exes.

Furthermore, because wailers have a big problem with moving on, you’ll also find out that they are usually highly emotional bad losers too!

And when it comes to relationships, bad losers can do you a lot of damage. Ever heard of those jilted lovers who leak confidential and/or incriminating information or even post nṳde pictures of their exes on the internet after a bad breakup?

Something tells me what drives such attitude is nothing but a wailer’s terrible intrinsic ‘bad loser’ instincts.

Drains your energy
They say don’t argue with a fool. I say don’t argue with a wailer. Reason why? A wailer will drain all your energy leaving you so tired, very angry and even in some cases, completely depressed.

Arguing with your wailer boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, husband or wife will only leave you running around in circles as you argue back and forth.

It doesn’t get any better because one of the flaws you’ll quickly notice about your wailer partner is that she is logically deficient hence you won’t ever get any sound argument out of her. Listen closely to her argument, and you’ll surely, quickly and easily find out why they say empty barrels make the most noise.

With his stereotypical mindset already firmly set like cement mixed with sand and water, getting through that thick concrete walls of his thinking faculty just to make your wailer partner see reasons with you is nothing but an uphill task.

Sometimes, you even get confused yourself because you can’t really say if she’s purposely being adamant or if she’s for real.

Unless you have your own powerful and fully charged inbuilt backup power bank running within you, I advice you don’t dare pick an argument with your wailer partner.

She will leave you completely wearied and so angry with her often dumb and pointless arguments that will even make you start questioning your own sanity for being in a relationship with such a myopic, one-track minded individual in the first place.

Filled with so much negativity
Ever heard of the glass-is-half-empty crew? That’s a clear definition of a wailer’s mindset. He’s so fixated on the negativity such that you can smell it from him from afar.

When he opens his mouth, be ready to be filled with the most negative thought patterns you will ever experience in your life.

He likes bad news to a fault, you know, stories like someone failing an exam or job interview, stories like couples breaking up, stories like someone couldn’t secure a visa, you know... stories of that nature.

Your typical wailer believes everyone is against her. She is highly pessimistic. She is very suspicious of people around her.

And her one goal in life is infect you with all that negativity. So that you can be like her. So that he will even become more convinced that everyone in this world bad. She can be quite divisive too. Which explains why with her, it’s always them against us.

In fact, to a typical wailer: DIVIDED WE STAND. So don’t be surprised when your wailer partner starts telling you or insinuating something like your mother is a witch, or that your brother is too close to you for his or her liking, or that your boss is just using you, or that you shouldn’t eat or drink water in this person or that person’s house, or that your best friend is jealous of your success and might actually be an enemy is disguise, or that your neighbors hate you so much and are already plotting some evil against you...

Take your time and listen carefully to the words that come out from a wailer’s mouth. Or even watch his deeds closely. Everything he does or says is somewhat geared towards poisoning your mind, pitting you against someone and filling your head with a lot of insecurities stemming from the abundance of his own chronic paranoia.


Is that the type of person you really want to settle down with? Well, that’s okay by you if you say so. At least, you won’t say you weren’t warned.

Can be very abusive 
Wailers can be very verbally abusive. If you are ever in need of a heavy load of insults to be hurled at you with so much verbosity, then look no further, just contact the nearest wailer.

A wailer naturally finds so much joy in running his or her mouth so trust me; you won’t be disappointed at all. Just say something that doesn’t align with him or his beliefs and you will get the well-packaged insults in overdose.

Remember, like I earlier mentioned, a typical wailer usually finds it very difficult to present a logically sound argument hence his abusiveness could also be adjudged as nothing but a defensive mechanism to stop you from making him see any reason with you as well as to stop you from exposing his logical incapacitation.

Bottom-line: A wailer does not believe other people can or should have opinions different from his own!

A typical wailer is brash. Being highly temperamental and very myopic too coupled with the fact that she already thinks or believes that everyone is out there to get her; she will not waste any time to launch into a full-blown verbal war with you if the situation arises. At such times, just be sure that she will call you names, insult your father, insult your mother, insult your entire family, insult everything you stand for.

One problem I have painstakingly identified which makes wailers to be very abusive is their unrivalled tendency to misconstrue anything and everything you tell them. Simply put, wailers are painfully incapacitated when it comes to simple deductive reasoning and understanding. So your relationship with your wailer partner will most probably be topsy-turvy as a result of this.

As her husband or boyfriend, it will take your greatest willpower to resist the temptation of slapping the hell out of your wailer wife for always misunderstanding and missing the whole point of whatever you are telling her.

It even gets worse when you dare to correct her. That’s when you will see the real color of arrogance. That’s when you will experience that hail of verbal abuse you’ve asked for as she will get personal and freely let her tongue loose on you for daring to correct such an all-knowing being like her.

If you are the strong willed type of person, then you can manage to walk way or at least bear with her since you already who know where she’s coming from but then again, how many people in a relationship are that strong willed enough to take all that abusive pounding without trying to get one back at her—verbally and sometimes, physically too?

If care is not taken, you will soon find yourself drawn into his abusive mode where you guys will be freely slinging insults and physical blows like it’s nobody’s business.

Talk of domestic violence!

So you better watch it. Or better still; don’t even try to be in a relationship with her in the first place!

Have a problem with identifying with reality
Fantasy is good. Fantasy is pleasure, I know. We all love fantasy. Anyone is free to fantasize.


When people decide to mistake fantasy with reality, that’s where the problem starts.

Imagine this scenario. You are earning very well and you are solely taking very good care of your wailer girlfriend and providing for all her needs. Everything thing is good. And then all of sudden, you experience some ill luck or misfortune and you lost your job in the process.

You are no longer earning that well. It’s time to readjust.


No way, says your girlfriend. We must maintain the status quo! Actually, it sounds more like YOU MUST maintain the status quo!

All your pleas, excuses, reasoning, explanations of the reality on grounds and why the things have suddenly taken a downturn for you will definitely fall on her deaf ears.

Okay, completely wearied down, you now calmly ask her, “Baby, please what do you suggest we do now?”

Watch her. She’ll give you a blank look and then say something like, “What? Seriously? Wait... are you really asking me? My friend just do something please. All I know is that I can’t suffer!”

Now tell me, what do you do to such a girlfriend?

O boy, kick her out one time!

Love instant gratification
This is one of, if not, the worst traits of all wailers. Granted, we live in a world now where everything happens so fast but wailers have taken this situation to a whole new level.

For a wailer, everything happens now. Give it to me now! Let’s see it now! Show me the money now! Buy it for me now! Let it happen now!

Now, now, now, nowwww!!!

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We are Women Wailers!
This her addiction to instant gratification coupled with her inability with identifying with reality which I have mentioned earlier on is also part of the reason why I stated earlier that wailers are just impossible to satisfy.

What so many wailers in a relationship don’t realize is that their thirst for immediate satisfaction only makes them more immature in the relationship because like children, sometimes, they foolishly and maybe, unconsciously fail to realize that most of their demands cannot be met instantly.

Watch it, my brother, if you still want to be in a relationship with your wailer partner. These set of people will never allow you to make plans or work on your ambition. In fact, they don’t even believe you can possibly have any ambition at all. What a faster way to kill someone’s ambition! Their impatience will drive you right up against the wall and if care is not taken, will make you commit lots and lots of mistakes in the process...

And of course, you will still get blamed for that!

Listen. Let me just one give you one last warning before you make the mistake of your life. Ever heard of those girls who jump ships immediately the goodies cease to come?

That’s exactly what a wailer does best. Since she wants be satisfied right now and if it so happens you can’t do it for her at that moment, she leaves you one time!

How much of that immature behavior can you take from him or her?

Undermining others
One thing I really don’t like in people is people who undermine others. Just because you cannot do something perfectly does not mean no one else can’t do it even better than you.

But that’s exactly what your wailer partner will want you to believe. Listen to a wailer carefully, and you will start getting the worrying feeling that he doesn’t just like (to hear about) other people’s progress!

This tendency of wailers to be undermining people deeply stems from his own fears, confusion and insecurity. He really wants to feel good about himself but unfortunately, he does it by undermining others.

He is mediocre or not good enough so everybody else is equally not good enough. If she can’t cook a good meal for you, then nobody else on earth can. If he doesn’t know the answer to a question, then no one else in the class should know it. If he or she cannot satisfy their partner in the bed, then you cannot possibly satisfy yours too.

I mean, c’mon, what kind of logic is that?

If it so happens that you can prove to your wailer wrong, he will try everything humanly possible to discredit your efforts. He may go as far as engaging in severe character assassination just to achieve this. For instance, if you buy a car, your wailer friend or neighbor will not be happy. But just because he didn’t or couldn’t buy a car, don’t be surprised that he will be the first to tell others that after all that car your husband bought for you is just a tokunbo.

Being a hardcore Doubting Thomas himself, he will always find a way to cast doubts on your intentions and deeds and even go as far as making others start having those same doubts about you or your abilities.

With a wailer, you just can’t get it right. You will never be the perfect husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or wife so don’t even try. Your best is not and will never be good enough. There’s always one more hurdle for you to jump assuming you make that costly mistake of trying to take up a wailer on his unending series of near-impossible hoops laid down for you to prove yourself.

So tell me, how long do you wish to be doing that? In fact, what are you still doing with such a person in that relationship?

Morally bankrupt
Once you get into the mind of a typical wailer, you will surely be shocked to find out how it works most especially when it comes to something like telling the plain gospel truth as it is.

You see, a wailer already has a set of rules or codes he strictly abides with hence a wailer is incorrigibly and unabashedly biased right from the onset.

But that wouldn’t have been a problem per se since most people are somewhat biased in general except that with a wailer, don’t EVER expect her to tell you the truth the way it is. Trust her, she can and will surely bend the truth with no scruples to suit her situation.

To be moral is to have a sense of what is right, good, and truthful based on an implied common standard or from within yourself.

Not so with a wailer.

Yes, he may not even openly voice it out but watch him closely, and you’ll surely find out that he supports evil, either by omission or commission. You see, a wailer is always ever ready to promulgate the opinion that everyone is ‘doing it so why bother’.

That’s exactly how he justifies it. It doesn’t really matter to him if ‘that very thing’ everybody is doing is morally right or wrong. He totally lacks any sense of ethics. Bottom line: wailers are morally bankrupt.

People who are morally bankrupt are the worst type of people you can (wish to) be with in a relationship. They can volte-face at any time without any forewarning. They can cheat on you with no scruples. And if they are caught, they will try to convince and rationalize and justify it with all manners of concocted lies and ludicrous reasons that will surely leave you totally flabbergasted—and wholly defeated.

But that shouldn’t surprise you because oftentimes such people are equally good liars.

The dangerous consequences of this your wailer partner’s maligned outlook towards life is that if you can tell yourself the gospel truth, then you already know that you cannot really trust her—when it really matters—even if both of you happen to be friends-in-crime at the moment! Thus when dealing with him, there will always be that uneasiness that comes with dealing with someone you cannot really or fully trust.

Ever heard of the 11th commandment? If you haven’t, just ask your wailer boyfriend, I'm most certain he’ll tell you. Should you find yourself in position where you’re at loggerheads with your inner self on whether to commit an evil act or not and you happen to mention it to your wailer partner, I’m so sure she’ll not fail to remind you that it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there so be sure to make the best use of any opportunity you get… even if it means doing so at other people’s expense as long as she will benefit from such dirty deal in one way or the other at the end of the day!

You see, thing is, a wailer can never be truly altruistic.

Funny thing is—well, depending on your own morals—at first you might even come to like this unscrupulous attitude coming from your wailer partner in a way since it helps you make or reach certain tough decisions faster. But then, don’t be deceived or be carried away. And don’t be shocked the day you’ll eventually discover that to her, you are also a dog—a dog that can and should be eaten—when the right time comes!

Wailers eh… fear them!

Now listen up most especially if you’ve noticed some of these detestable traits in your partner. It doesn’t matter how good they are to you right now. Sooner than later, their wailing tendencies will soon materialize and take over them.

They can’t really help it. It’s just who they are.

But the question now is...

Can you put up with all that?

I doubt. So please, do stay away from wailers. For your own good and for the good of others.

And oh, by the way, it goes both ways because if you are a wailer yourself, you may not be the best option for someone else.

So there you have it. At this point, I drop my pen.

I believe I have managed to highlight some salient points on why dating or marrying a wailer is not the best for your health but I know this is definitely not the end of it.

Okay. Now it’s over you. Let’s hear your own voice. Do you know or have any more useful advice on why one shouldn’t date or marry a wailer? Please feel free to make your own contributions. You don’t know it but you may be saving a soul somewhere...



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