10 Reasons Why You Should Not Hate Gáys

Following the massive outcry—for and against, that followed the recent signing into law of the anti-gay rights like marriage by the Nigerian President thereby criminalizing any public display of gay tendencies with a punishable offence of 14-years jail term, I just felt it is now my turn to voice my own opinion on the matters arising after personally and carefully studying and considering all the sides of the arguments being put forward.

First off, I have noticed that when someone says gáy, most times, what normally comes to most peoples’ mind is the male homosәxuals so I will want to maintain that same biased impression in this write-up which means when I say gay here, I mean the male gáys.

Don’t blame me because I don’t have any problems with lәsbians. To tell you the truth, I don’t even know anything about lәsbianism, what it means or what they do. In fact, I have never seen a lәsbian in real life so as far as I am concerned, lәsbians only exist in p0rn flicks and even those ones I see there seem more like bisәxuals as they appear to be so into men and women with the same fervor.

So, I think I am right and I know what I am saying when I said lәsbians don’t really exist in real life!

Oh by the way, if you are a lәsbian and you feel somewhat slighted by that my postulate; believe me, I wouldn’t mind at all, if you can come forward to prove or disprove it to me whichever way you want it. And oh! You can also bring your partner too…

Let me also mention that I am not doing this to vamp up support for gáys. Neither am I doing this to subliminally remind you the hömophobic heteros to take up your gauntlets once again and continue with your daily favorite hobby of bashing gáys, assuming that has been one of your most passionate indulgences.

All I am trying to do here is to give you the reasons why I feel you should not hate gáys. In other words, I’m here to give you my opinion on why I think the heterös should just let the hömos be.

So please listen attentively, most especially, if you are a full able-bodied pụŝŝy-loving man…alright?

Are you ready? Okay, here they are.


They reduce competition
I don't just see why straight guys don't get it. I mean as a straight guy, c'mon you really should be thankful to your God and then to these guys for reducing competition.

Adam Lambert
(madamenoire.com)
You know these guys can be very rich and famous, very talented, humane and gentlemanly, and of course, most are very handsome — you see — the right combination of what most women want, anyway.

Take someone like Adam Lambert of American Idols or even Wentworth Miller aka Michael Scofield of Prison Break or even Niel Patrick Harris aka Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother for example. Are you aware that you might not stand any chance with such a dude when it comes to your girl, yes, that your very own girl, you know…?

So, in case you haven’t figured it out yet you straight guy, the more the gáys, the more females for you to choose from with so much pride and swagger.
Keith-Hamilton-Cobb
(madamenoire.com)

And that should be a very comforting piece of information to you since it is generally accepted that men are said to be polygamous, or do you no longer think so?

Oh…wait! I just realized that on the contrary, the more the gáys the stiffer the competition it is going to be for ladies who are interested in men—for marriage and sәx?

So?

So, both ways you win, straight guy!

Well…sorry ladies, but I am just talking from a straight guy’s perspective anyway.
Wentworth Miller
(madamenoire.com)

Besides that is exactly what those audacious lәsbians are doing to straight guys, anyway!

You say what?!

Oh, now I get it! Don’t tell me you believed me when I said I had no problems with lәsbians?!

Grhhh!


Natural Population Control
Not only do gáys reduce competition for available women, these great guys also contribute their quota, no matter how small, towards effective population control.

Unlike that weirdo of a nutjob Reverend Malthus who postulated some hundred years ago that population control can only be effectively achieved through wars, famine and diseases, the gáys do this for us completely free of charge!
Matt Bomer
(madamenoire.com)

Oh wow!

Don’t you know that if not for the gáys, maybe by now you won’t even have any space to sleep in because people will be everywhere loitering and making noise and disturbing your peace everywhere you go? Don’t forget that all it can take for the population of the whole world to be doubled or even quadrupled is just one man’s ejacülate?

I don’t even want to talk about your land and where you will build your own house. Or even your food and how you won’t have been able to find enough to eat—again!

Just look at your face! See your big head! You gourmet, so you think I don’t know you like food so much?!


Comic relief
Yes, and I mean real life comic relief.

Don’t tell me that sometimes, you won’t feel like laughing out loud when you see a dude dressed up in flamboyant costumes like some sort of a clown, using makeup and applying lipsticks, enjoying shopping, wearing tight trousers and thongs, preening and fussing and fawning over himself and even over befriending the mirrors by becoming so self-conscious of his appearance, discussing fashion and beauty pageants, and even undergoing sәx change operations and/or generally behaving and talking like a woman?

Oh, how I wish you are just someone like ME who believes there's always a funny side to everything and if only you will look beyond your ingrained hatred for gáys and just look at it as it really is, I bet you will definitely agree with me that indeed, it is really very funny though somewhat awkward watching such a scenario!

And telling yourself at the same time…oh man, what a real upside down world we live in.


It’s their business
Yes of course, it’s their business. Wait a minute…is it even supposed to bother you—what these guys do with themselves—even behind closed doors? You said yes? Okay why, if I may ask?

Look lemme tell you something. I cannot speak for all gáy tendencies but then some gáys actually claim they were born that way and unless you were the creator who molded them from the soil with a fine mixture of silt, sand and ash and breathed into them the breath of life, you know you don’t really have to interfere, right?

Or, look at it this way. What will you do if people start questioning everyday stuffs you do like the time you wake up and when you sleep? Tell me, how will you feel if other people take it upon themselves to dictate the type of food you will have to eat to be considered normal?

Or even take it to the extreme by deciding or insisting that you belong to the wrong race because your skin color is dark whereas it is supposed to be white? And start discriminating against you because of that?

Very bad, I guess? So what then makes it different when it comes to gáys?

Remember, it’s their arsё, their choice, and their basic fundamental human rights so why don’t you just simply mind your own business?

Unless, you want to leave me with no choice other than to believe that you are really a meddling and incurable voyeur who also likes to poke his nose into other people’s affairs, huh?


Recognize their boundaries
One thing I respect about these guys is that they do recognize their boundaries much more than the straight guys who are always obsessed with sәxual thoughts and always have great difficulty in controlling their ever present and ever rising libidos plus their wandering ogling eyes which makes them to lose their self control whenever wherever there exists the slightest scent of a woman!

I am yet to hear that gay guys forced someone into the act—as in rape. Okay, I think I have heard something like that before but…it’s not as rampant or mainstream as the case of rape involving women as victims.

So when it comes to gáys, I think, the recurrent watchword is and has always been “an act carried out between two (or more) consenting individuals.”

Hmm...think I like that word 'consenting'.


Vent your anger – with care
Of course, in a world filled with strife where a lot of people have so many reasons to be angry, the gáys can provide you with a very nice target to vent all your hate upon, someone to condemn and label possessed, someone to feel superior to, someone to castigate and call a sinner or a fag or something like that, someone to criticize, in fact, someone to baaassshhhhh — all the time — with all pleasure!

But remember…

Because we now live in a world that is gradually, though indifferently and subconsciously accepting the gay lifestyle, you will be bashed back – for sure!

You will be demonized and called intolerant. In fact, you will be caricatured and described as an archaic who is yet to realize it’s the 21st century. Even worse still, you may also be called a closet gay living in self-denial who doesn't want to come to terms with his coitál preferences.

Unless, you have enough bullet proof vests to protect your chest, if you come out openly and say being gáy is such a bad thing, you will be attacked by the increasing number of gay rights activists who are seriously pushing for their recognition and equal rights.

And the worst part is that even those who are not gáys themselves or even the members of the religion you are trying to use to justify your down with the gáys status will only shrug their shoulders and move on with their lives without even bothering to come out to defend you.

Yes, you may suddenly find out that it could be such a cold and lonely world out there! So my advice, why don't you just let sleeping dogs lie? Please, don’t start a fight you can never finish — for your own sake.


You are not gáy
One day I asked myself, why do I even hate gáys? The answers I got weren't even that shocking as I thought.

If you do a similar thing, chances are you might come up with the following answers like I did.

You might discover there’s something about gays that makes one to start questioning even his own masculinity. Simply stated, since you don’t swing that way, they tend to make you curious as you start wondering what exactly is it that makes a man to like a fellow man in that way.

Then you start imagining what might happen to you assuming you find yourself trapped one day in the company of a gáy guy and without any warning he starts making passes at you or even grabs you.

How would I react? Will I laugh over it and just ignore him? Or will I grab a club immediately and smash it on his head before beating him to pulp with it?

Or

Is there really something so pleasurable about the act that you might be missing considering the fact that these guys are ready and willing to continue engaging in it not minding they are being stigmatized by the society?

You are still lost in deep thoughts and you are thinking what if someone pays you to engage in it? Will you fall for the temptation assuming you really needed the money badly? Or is there any slightest chance that you might even be a bisәxual and you don’t even know it?

No, no way! God forbid! Fück Sigmund Freud for suggesting that everybody has got some gay tendencies in them!

And with that, you jerk yourself back to reality and start cüssing yourself for even thinking about such things and you start shaking your head in total rejection of such a disgusting thought which you subsequently try to push so far far away from your psyche because you know that deep in your heart, like you have always known all along, that you are and will always be a pụŝŝy-loving man.

And then you start feeling rejuvenated as a man, and then you smile to yourself because of this new wonderful and comforting piece of information.

And there you have it my freind…that’s the good news. You are not gay. You have never been gáy. You will never be gáy. You are just a pụŝŝy-loving man and nothing is ever going to change that!

Yay! Say Amen!

Zachary Quinto
(madamenoire.com)
And then later in the day, you turn on your TV and you hear that another popular actor like Zachary Quinto a.k.a. Sylar of Heroes has just admitted that he is gáy.

And then you are like Again! Oh man, what the fück is wrong with these guys?!

And you start all over again—questioning your own masculinity and bringing back all those confusing and disturbing thoughts back to your psyche.

But that shouldn’t bother you at all. It shouldn’t be that way!

Because you and I know what the delectable sight of a buxom woman’s cleavage or jiggling boobs and exposed laps and rolling hips with wriggling backside will always do in our trousers.

Oh man! Not here, not now, just try and keep it under control, okay?


Anal sәx is... anal sәx
Hey…but this is true in a way, if you look at it closely, or don’t you think so?

Yes, some heterö men do engage in anal sәx, albeit with women.

But physically, anatomically, biologically…okay, minus mentally and visually speaking, anal sәx is anal sәx and there are no two ways about that because there’s no way you can convince me it’s not.

Case closed.


What will Jesus do?
Yes, I know the Bible condemned certain sәxual preferences and practices but then remember the same Bible said love your brother as yourself.

Yes. That is the ultimate show of love…at least Jesus said so.

In the words of the Catholic Pontiff Pope Francis “If someone is gáy and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?”

Yes, who am I to judge?

I think I like that.

And the last but not the least…


It is not adultery.
Oh, yes. It's not...well, at least in the religious sense of the word. Neither is it fornication, what these guys do.

In fact, it has not yet been classified.

You get…?

It’s simply just their thing!

Ha ha ha…

Well, that will be that for now. Now, you run along. See you later…okay?

Wait a minute…Are you still there? This is getting serious! You still need more reasons…? Really...?

Okay, listen to me. If you don’t like any of these reasons I have given you so far on why you should just let the gáys be and you still want to carry on with the hating, please do remember this: when you hate someone, it doesn’t actually do anything to the person—except, well…maybe some occasional discomfort here and there.

But the ugly truth about hating someone is that when you hate this person, you also get hurt yourself as you knowingly or unconsciously carry the heavy burden of this tumultuous hate energy around!

So you see, hating on the gáys doesn’t pay – you - that much anyway. So stop wasting all that energy and try to channel it into something more productive, more enterprising and more rewarding, please.

In fact, unless you really enjoy being a pain in the ass, I feel that you hating on the gáys will be like a one more pain in the árse too many for them.

If that still doesn’t stop you from hating on the gáys, remember that you are what you think about all the time and if you are always thinking about y sәx and hating someone because he doesn't swing like you, very soon, I mean sooner than later, you will get it – in your ass, of course!

That’s exactly how the law of attraction operates, remember? You attract to yourself what you think about the most!

So now for the very last time, please you run along and don’t be hating again, okay…?

Thank you.

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