Take My Add-Vice

Dear Emmyboy,
My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is always high and he smells like sh*t after his usual binge. I can’t take it anymore. I will like nothing other than to leave him but the problem is that I love him so much. What do I do?


Dear Augusta,
There’s only one thing you should do. You should stop loving him so much. That is the only problem I can see in there. Incidentally, that is the only solution too.

Hope that helps?


Dear Emmyboy,
I don’t like cheating in exams but you see, there was this very exam that I participated in and I didn’t adequately prepare for it and that meant that I had no other option than to cheat in that very exam.

Now the results are out and I failed woefully. Do you think it is nemesis or what?

You have to understand me and where I am coming from. I am afraid and also superstitious.


Dear Dickson,
I think you are just killing yourself slowly and softly. Instead of blaming yourself for the said woeful performance, why don’t you take some time off to look at the whole thing as it stands?

I wonder why it is so hard for you to find out where your problems are coming from because it is so simple for me to see it.

You copied from the wrong persons! So you better see what you can do about that next time and stop complaining.


Dearest Emmyboy,
How are you doing today? I have a very urgent problem and I need your advice badly. I have a roommate who is a heavy smoker. In fact, peeps around call him the chimney. I read somewhere that those who stay beside smokers when they are smoking are also passively smoking too.

Is that true? Have you ever seen a dead young smoker?

One other thing, how do I get him to stop because I heard smokers are liable to die young and I don’t want him to die – at least, not now!


You are something else! Oh yes, I have to say it. Why don't you just say you want to hear it from me that smokers are liable to die young. You want me to show you a dead young smoker, huh?

Wonders shall never end.

Well, sorry to disappoint you, FYI, I don’t know. All I know is that from the way you put it when you said at least not now, I can easily deduce the real reason why you want your friend to quit smoking is not actually because you don’t want him to die at all neither is it because of your own health.

Because if that is the case, nothing stops you from actively smoking while making him to be passively smoking at the same time.

Let's just tell ourselves the simple truth. The reason why you want him to be alive now is simply because he’s the one paying your rent.


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