Why the prodigal went back to his father

I don’t think you have ever heard the full version of the adventures of the prodigal son but not to worry because today you will hear it, the uncut version.

But first, let’s have a reminder of the story in case you need some filling in.

The story was that this boy woke up one day and decided that “enough was enough.” So on bright summer morning, the young lad who was barely twenty years summoned enough courage and went to his dad.

“Daddy, I want my own share NOOOWWW!

Jeezus!

“What did you say, again?” his kind-hearted father asked him.

“I said I want my own share!”

“Your own share of what?”

“My own share of all you’ve got – your wealth. I mean all my inheritance and I need it right now!”

To tell you the truth, it crossed the old man’s mind to tell the boy to go and eat shite but some foreboding of danger made the man to think twice…

Wise decision. You know, you never can tell with these kids and what they could be high on…

The boy who was at the first stage of becoming a prodigal was brimming with fire and he was ready to burn down anything in his path that was going to prevent him from the wild life he has always envisaged since he was ten when he started stealing some quiet to some nearby brothel.

Oh! You thought he just woke up and became prodigal? Nah! He has been obsessed with those thoughts and today was the D-day!

His father was confused yet he knew it was of no use trying to talk the boy out of this his current self-destruction mode because that would certainly be like asking for trouble which might include the terrible crime of patricide on the young man’s part…

So without even consulting his accountants and lawyers, the man executed his will and gave in to the boy’s wish.

The happy lad was elated because:
  1. He never knew it was going to be this easy, and
  2. That was why he had made arrangements on how to get it from the man by force should he prove tough to handle. Don’t say I told you but I think I read somewhere though I can’t remember exactly where right now that he’d already bought an AK or something similar last night and he hoped to use it in throwing the fear of God into the man and everybody around should anybody dare to stop him…
But now, there will be no need for that. Ahh! Thank God!

He just bade his dad goodbye and took the whole money and left.

You know the rest of the story, how he squandered the whole money with whores and friends and gamblers and what have you?

At some point he become so poor that he had to go and look for work and the only work available was at a piggery where at some point he had to feed with the pigs.

Too bad!

But don’t pity the poor boy because at some stage, he started to adapt and settle into the shabby lifestyle. In fact, he had even started to love the taste of those pig food, I believe.

But...

One day, the owner of the farmer introduced our prodigal son to another character.

“Here, this is our new worker. He will be helping you out with the duties of feeding the pigs. Make sure both of you share everything, and I mean everything, and make sure both of you don’t quarrel or fight over anything because that is what I won’t stand in this house. I won’t even hesitate to throw you guys out if there’s any fight! 
Am I clear?!”

Yes sir!

Our prodigal son, thought about all he was going to be giving up in term of sharing with this new contemptible form of a human being, the floor space and most importantly, you guessed right, the pig food!

Damn! But then he had no choice. He knew how difficult it was for him to secure this job. It’s either that or he starts all over again!

So he silently accepted that painful “half ‘bread’ is better than not” mentality and life went on.

But one week and some days later, on one hot afternoon, our prodigal son came back very tired. He just needed to sleep right away but…

Where was all that noise coming from?

He quickly went closer and looked into his shed to see what was going on.

Gathered around the pig-food table were a number of dirty looking and worn out youths numbering ten or thereabout. From the way they were gobbling down the pig food, you don’t need a prophet to tell you that they have not had any decent meal for so many days now…

They were not even aware of the person staring at them. The prodigal son beckoned on his partner who was standing in a corner of the room and watching these poor fellas eat.

“What is going on here? Who are these guys?” he asked.

“You mean those guys? Well, according to our boss who brought them here this morning, he said these guys are the sons of some rich men who demanded that their father should give them their own share of his wealth and when their father did so, they took the money and before you know it, they squandered it all, just like me. Now they have absolutely nothing and they have come here from different places to see if they could find work and food…”

“So how long are they going to be staying?”

“I don’t exactly know but I think I overheard the boss telling our foreman that they are here to stay for good because according to him, the more they are; the cheaper labor becomes… Ahem! And he also mentioned something like some more boys will be arriving very soon…”

What?!

That was when our prodigal son came back to his senses. He knew then that once again, enough is enough!

The next morning, without even bidding the pigs and any his pig room-mates farewell, he quietly slid through the backyard fence and started heading home fast!


Adapted from the Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told


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